the essay is about why “you don’t want to be a doctor” using personal examples,
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the essay is about why “you don’t want to be a doctor” using personal examples, you don’t need any kind of resource, you have to follow the rubric and these are the teacher’s comments, I think they will help you understand what needs to be changed
Okay, this would have been easier to explain if you had handed in a copy. The first thing is that you never bothered to do a grammar/spell check. I could correct every sentence. Grammar 0/10. Second is your thesis, I highlighted it. So you have three points you are going to cover 1. danger to yourself 2. frustrated by the long tests. 3 Stress of dealing with patients that don’t listen. Does your thesis match your body paragraphs? The third point does not.
You have good ideas for the paragraphs. I think you make good points.
The problem with your writing is that you rushed through it and it shows. This could have easily been a solid 86-90 if you gave the assignment the work it demands.
BP – 30
Proven Thesis 5